my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
