you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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