i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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