Your face is a jimmy john
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
