i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
