Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
