im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
