seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
