Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....

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(407): View more from Florida

She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."

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(703): View more from Virginia

drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip

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(949): View more from California

I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall

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(224): View more from Illinois

I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.

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