Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
