Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
