so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
