You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
