for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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