I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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