sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
