So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
