Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
