Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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