Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We have so much sex to catch up on
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
