At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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