did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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