I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
