yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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