i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
