things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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