IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
