one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
