You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
