My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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