that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
