So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
