I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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