I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
