plz talk dirty to me
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So much rum. So many feels.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
