Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
