girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
