Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
