i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
