these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
