what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
