Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think I just sharted jello shots
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
