Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
