wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
