If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
