im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
