Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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