I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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