Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
