i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
More tranny stories later!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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