I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
