Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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